| Home | Savage Research — We Think This Is Funny | The Jester's Court |
| CHORUS: |
BUT!.... Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!) |
| VERSES: |
Death and gloom and black despair People dying everywhere. We brought linen, white as cloud Now we'll sit and sew your shroud. Now that you're the age you are Your demise cannot be far. So far death you have bypassed Don't look back it's gaining fast. May the candles on your cake Burn like cities in your wake. I'm a leper, can't you see Get your birthday kiss from me. Burn the castle and storm the keep Kill the women but SAVE THE SHEEP! Burn, then rape by firelight Add -romance- to life tonight. Pay attention, you must learn First you pillage, THEN you burn. It's your birthday never fear You'll be dead this time next year. May your deeds with sheep and yaks Equal those with sword and axe. See the wrinkles on your face Like the pattern of fine lace. Your servants steal, your wife's untrue Your children plot to murder you. Indigestion's what you get From the enemies you 'et. They stole your gold, your sword, your house They stole your sheep, but not your spouse. You must marry very soon Baby's due the next full moon. Fear and gloom and darkness but No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT. Were I sitting in your shoes I'd go out and sing the blues. You're a period cook it's true Ask the beetles in the stew. So you've aged another year Now you know that Death is near. Though you're turning 29 Age to you is like fine wine. Children dying far and near They say that cancer's caused by beer. So you're 29 again Don't tell lies to your good friend. Children dying everywhere Women crying in despair. Now you've lived another year Age to you is like stale beer. Death, destruction, and despair People dying everywhere. So another year has passed Don't look now they're gaining fast. Typhoid, plague and polio Coffins lined up in a row. Long ago your hair turned gray Now it's falling out, they say. Black Death has just struck your town You yourself feel quite run-down. Birthdays come but once a year Marking time as Death draws near. May the children in the street Be your barbecuing meat. We, your friends will never tell That your body has gone to hell. At your age most folks go blind You've kept your sight, but lost your mind. While you eat your birthday stew We will loot the town for you We love children, yes we do Boiled or baked or in a stew. When you've reached this age you know That the mind is first to go. FINALE: If there be verses we have missed You can add them to the list. I pray you pass your verse along And thus improve our merry song. |