At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "if GM had kept up with
the technology like the computer industry has,we would all be driving
$2500.00 cars that got 100 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had eveloped technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would
have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason
you would simply accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which
case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car unless you
bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but
would only run on five percent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault"
- New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
- The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (Now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete
this option would immediately cause the cars performance to
diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target
for investigation by the Justice Dept.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to
learn to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.
- You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.