Top 12 Things Likely To Be Overheard If You Had A Klingon Programmer
Specifications are for the weak and timid!
This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual
Pentium™ processors if I am to do battle with this code!
You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless
you've read it in the original Klingon.
Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent
when I indent your skull!
What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not
make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes' leaving a
bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its
wake.
Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software
does not coddle the weak.
I have challenged the entire quality assurance
team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor
of my family. Prepare to die!
You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!