Q. What's 18" long and will make any woman cry? A. Crib death.
A man takes his 14 year old daughter to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I want to put her on the pill."
"Why, is she sexually active?" the doctor asks.
The guy answers, "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
Why does Mike Tyson cry after sex? Well, mace'll do that to you.