The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollars spilling from the tax pipeline through
Washington by designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to
be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the
Y'allbonics / English Dictionary:
- HEIDI (noun)
-- Greeting.
- HIRE YEW (noun with verb)
-- Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage "Heidi, hire yew?"
- BARD (verb)
-- Past tense of the infinitive "to
borrow."
Usage "My brother
bard my pickup truck."
- JAWJUH (noun)
-- The state north of Florida.
Capitol is Lanner.
Usage "My
brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
- BAMMER (noun)
-- The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol
is Berminhayum.
Usage
"A
tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
$20,000,000 in improvements."
- MUNTS (noun)
-- A calendar division.
Usage "My
brother from Jawjuh bard my
pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
- THANK (verb)
-- Cognitive process.
Usage "Ah thank
ah'll have a bare."
- BARE (noun)
-- An alcoholic beverage made of barley,
hops and yeast.
Usage "Ah
thank ah'll have a bare."
- IGNERT (adjective)
-- Not smart. See "Arkansas
native."
Usage "Them bammer
boys sure are ignert!"
- RANCH (noun)
-- A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage "I thank I left my
ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few
munts ago."
- ALL (noun)
-- A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage
"I sure hope my brother
from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
- FAR (noun)
-- A conflagration.
Usage "If my
brother from Jawjuh don't
change
the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna
catch far."
- TAR (noun)
-- A rubber wheel.
Usage "Gee, I hope
that brother of mine from
Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
- TIRE (noun)
-- A tall monument.
Usage "Lord
willin' and the creek don't
rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."
- RETARD (verb)
-- To stop working.
Usage "My
grampaw retard at age 65."
- FAT (noun, verb)
-- A battle or combat; to engage
in battle or combat.
Usage
"You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup
y'uh."
- RATS (noun)
-- Entitled power or privilege.
Usage
"We Southerners are
willin' to fat for are rats."
- CHEER (adverb)
-- In this place.
Usage "Just set
that bare rat cheer."
. - FARN (adjective)
-- Not domestic.
Usage "I cuddint
unnerstand a wurd he
sed.
Must be from some farn country."
- DID (adjective)
-- Not alive.
Usage "He's did,
Jim."
- ARE (noun)
-- A colorless, odorless gas. i.e.,
oxygen.
Usage "He can't
breathe. Give 'IM some ARE!"
- BOB WAR (noun)
-- A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage
"Boy, stay away from that
bob war fence."
- JEW HERE (noun and verb)
-- Contraction.
Usage
"Jew here that my brother
from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence
cump'ny?"
- HAZE. (noun and verb)
-- Contraction.
Usage "Is
Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze
ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n is laf."
- SEED (verb)
-- Past tense of "to see."
Usage "I
ain't never seed New York
City." VIEW (pronoun and verb) -- Contraction
Usage "I ain't never seed
New
York City. View?"
- GUBMINT (noun)
-- A bureaucratic institution.
Usage "Them gubmint boys
shore
is ignert."