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Hey Norm!

This is gleaned from a posting by Raymond Chen at U.C. Berkeley May 6 1991.

At the time the following had been checked against videotapes (of the TV show Cheers) (in chronological order):
No Help Wanted
Coach:Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm:No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach:How about a beer, Norm?
Norm:Hey, I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.
Fortune and Men's Weights:
Coach:How's a beer sound, Norm?
Norm:I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
Coach:What's up, Norm?
Norm:Corners of my mouth, Coach.
Snow Job:
Coach:What's shaking, Norm?
Norm:All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.
Coach:Beer, Normie?
Norm:Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young.
Norman's Conquest:
[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
Coach:Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm:With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)
Coach:What's up, Normie?
Norm:The temperature under my collar, Coach.
Diane Meets Mom:
Coach:What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm:Going down?
[Norm returns from the hospital.]
Coach:What's up, Norm?
Norm:Everything that's supposed to be.
Peterson Crusoe:
[Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face.]
Norm:[mutters] Afternoon, everybody.
All:Norm? (Norman?)
The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter:
Sam:What's new, Normie?
Norm:Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.
King of the Hill:
Coach:What'll it be, Normie?
Norm:Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.
The Mail Goes to Jail:
Coach:What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm:Daddy wuvs you.
Behind Every Great Man:
Sam:What'd you like, Normie?
Norm:A reason to live. Gimme another beer.
Norm:Afternoon, everybody.
Cliff:Afternoon, everybody.
The Executive's Executioner:
Sam:What will you have, Norm?
Norm:Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam:Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm:Call me Mister Lucky.
Birth, Death, Love and Rice:
Sam:What do you say, Norm?
Norm:Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.
Woody Goes Belly Up:
Sam:What do you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm:Hiya, sailor. New in town?
Diane's Nightmare:
Norm:[coming in the from the rain] Evening, everybody.
All:Norm! (Norman!)
Sam:Still pouring, Norm?
Norm:That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday:
Sam:What's the good word, Norm?
Norm:Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Sam:Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...
Norm:Yeah, yeah, yeah ...
Sam:One heartburn cocktail coming up.
Love Thy Neighbor:
Sam:Whaddya say, Norm?
Norm:Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes.
The Bar Stoolie:
Woody:What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.
The Triangle:
Woody:What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Elope with my wife.
[Norm is angry.]
Woody:What can I get you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Clifford Clavin's head.
Take My Shirt ... Please?
Woody:How's life, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Oh, I'm waiting for the movie.
The Peterson Principle:
Sam:Hey, what's happening, Norm?
Norm:Well, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
Tan 'n Wash:
Paul:Hey, Norm, how's the world been treating you?
Norm:Like a baby treats a diaper.
Norm:Hey, everybody.
All:[Silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich.]
Norm:Norm! (Norman!)
How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?
Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.
Home is the Sailor:
[The bar is completely different, since Sam went sailing around the world and sold the bar.]
Norm:Hey, everybody.
Woody:Norm! [nobody else in the bar says anything]
Norm:That's it, I'm leaving.
Norm:[comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer, as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain]
Norm:[quietly] Not now!
Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2:
Woody:Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.
A Kiss is Still a Kiss:
Sam:How's life treating you?
Norm:It's not, Sammy, but you can!
Let Sleeping Drakes Lie:
Woody:Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:A little early, isn't it, Woody?
Woody:For a beer?
Norm:No, for stupid questions.
Airport V:
Woody:What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending.
One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape, Part 2:
Pepe:[Something in Spanish]
Bar Wars II: The Woodman Strikes Back:
Woody:Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
Norm:I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.
Don't Paint Your Chickens:
Sam:Beer, Norm?
Norm:Have I gotten that predictable? Good.
Call Me, Irresponsible:
Woody:What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:A flashing sign in my gut that says, "Insert beer here."
Two Girls For Every Boyd:
Sam:What can I get you, Norm
Norm:[scratching his beard] Got any flea powder? Ah, just kidding. Gimme a beer; I think I'll just drown the little suckers.
Feeble Attraction:
Woody:Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?
Norm:Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?
Bar Wars III: The Return of Tecumseh:
Sam:What are you up to, Norm?
Norm:My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.
Woody:Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.
Norm:You mean, "Nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson."
Sam:What can I do for you, Norm?
Norm:Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam.
It's a Wonderful Wife:
Woody:What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Another layer for the winter, Wood.

At the time the following had not been checked against videotapes (of the TV show Cheers) (in chronological order):
Woody:How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
Woody:I'm sorry to hear that.
Norm:No, I mean pour.
Sam:How's life treating you, Norm?
Norm:Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.
Norm:Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.
Sam:What's going down, Normie?
Norm:My butt cheeks on that bar stool.
Sam:How's life in the fast lane?
Norm:Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp.
Woody:Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:Alright, but stop me at one ... make that one-thirty.
Sam:What's the story, Norm?
Norm:Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.
Sam:How about a beer, Norm?
Norm:That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!
Woody:What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody.
Sam:What's up, Normie?
Norm:My nipples, it's freezing out there.

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