| No Help Wanted |
|---|
| Coach: | Can I draw you a beer, Norm? |
| Norm: | No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one. |
| |
| Coach: | How about a beer, Norm? |
| Norm: | Hey, I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life. |
| Fortune and Men's Weights: |
|---|
| Coach: | How's a beer sound, Norm? |
| Norm: | I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in. |
| |
| Coach: | What's up, Norm? |
| Norm: | Corners of my mouth, Coach. |
| Snow Job: |
|---|
| Coach: | What's shaking, Norm? |
| Norm: | All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach. |
| |
| Coach: | Beer, Normie? |
| Norm: | Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young. |
| Norman's Conquest: |
|---|
| [Norm comes in with an attractive woman.] |
| Coach: | Normie, Normie, could this be Vera? |
| Norm: | With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe. |
| I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2) |
|---|
| Coach: | What's up, Normie? |
| Norm: | The temperature under my collar, Coach. |
| Diane Meets Mom: |
|---|
| Coach: | What would you say to a nice beer, Normie? |
| Norm: | Going down? |
| [Norm returns from the hospital.] |
| Coach: | What's up, Norm? |
| Norm: | Everything that's supposed to be. |
| Peterson Crusoe: |
|---|
|
[Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face.] |
| Norm: | [mutters] Afternoon, everybody. |
| All: | Norm? (Norman?) |
| The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter: |
|---|
| Sam: | What's new, Normie? |
| Norm: | Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer. |
| King of the Hill: |
|---|
| Coach: | What'll it be, Normie? |
| Norm: | Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel. |
| The Mail Goes to Jail: |
|---|
| Coach: | What would you say to a beer, Normie? |
| Norm: | Daddy wuvs you. |
| Behind Every Great Man: |
|---|
| Sam: | What'd you like, Normie? |
| Norm: | A reason to live. Gimme another beer. |
|
|
| Norm: | Afternoon, everybody. |
| Cliff: | Afternoon, everybody. |
| All: | [silence] |
| The Executive's Executioner: |
|---|
| Sam: | What will you have, Norm? |
| Norm: | Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap. |
| Sam: | Oh, looks like beer, Norm. |
| Norm: | Call me Mister Lucky. |
| Birth, Death, Love and Rice: |
|---|
| Sam: | What do you say, Norm? |
| Norm: | Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer. |
| Woody Goes Belly Up: |
|---|
| Sam: | What do you say to a beer, Normie? |
| Norm: | Hiya, sailor. New in town? |
| Diane's Nightmare: |
|---|
| Norm: | [coming in the from the rain] Evening, everybody. |
| All: | Norm! (Norman!) |
| Sam: | Still pouring, Norm? |
| Norm: | That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. |
| I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday: |
|---|
| Sam: | What's the good word, Norm? |
| Norm: | Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. |
| Sam: | Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer... |
| Norm: | Yeah, yeah, yeah ... |
| Sam: | One heartburn cocktail coming up. |
| Love Thy Neighbor: |
|---|
| Sam: | Whaddya say, Norm? |
| Norm: | Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes. |
| The Bar Stoolie: |
|---|
| Woody: | What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer. |
| The Triangle: |
|---|
| Woody: | What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | Elope with my wife. |
|
[Norm is angry.] |
| Woody: | What can I get you, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | Clifford Clavin's head. |
| Take My Shirt ... Please? |
|---|
| Woody: | How's life, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | Oh, I'm waiting for the movie. |
| The Peterson Principle: |
|---|
| Sam: | Hey, what's happening, Norm? |
| Norm: | Well, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear. |
| Tan 'n Wash: |
|---|
| Paul: | Hey, Norm, how's the world been treating you? |
| Norm: | Like a baby treats a diaper. |
|
|
| Norm: | Hey, everybody. |
| All: | [Silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich.] |
| Norm: | Norm! (Norman!) |
|
How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson? |
|
Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer. |
| Home is the Sailor: |
|---|
|
[The bar is completely different, since Sam went sailing around the world and sold the bar.] |
| Norm: | Hey, everybody. |
| Woody: | Norm! [nobody else in the bar says anything] |
| Norm: | That's it, I'm leaving. |
|
|
| Norm: | [comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer, as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain] |
| Customer: | Norm! |
| Norm: | [quietly] Not now! |
| Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2: |
|---|
| Woody: | Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass. |
| A Kiss is Still a Kiss: |
|---|
| Sam: | How's life treating you? |
| Norm: | It's not, Sammy, but you can! |
| Let Sleeping Drakes Lie: |
|---|
| Woody: | Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | A little early, isn't it, Woody? |
| Woody: | For a beer? |
| Norm: | No, for stupid questions. |
| Airport V: |
|---|
| Woody: | What's the story, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending. |
| One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape, Part 2: |
|---|
| Pepe: | [Something in Spanish] |
| Bar Wars II: The Woodman Strikes Back: |
|---|
| Woody: | Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you. |
| Norm: | I know, and if she calls, I'm not here. |
| Don't Paint Your Chickens: |
|---|
| Sam: | Beer, Norm? |
| Norm: | Have I gotten that predictable? Good. |
| Call Me, Irresponsible: |
|---|
| Woody: | What's going on, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | A flashing sign in my gut that says, "Insert beer here." |
| Two Girls For Every Boyd: |
|---|
| Sam: | What can I get you, Norm |
| Norm: | [scratching his beard] Got any flea powder? Ah, just kidding. Gimme a beer; I think I'll just drown the little suckers. |
| Feeble Attraction: |
|---|
| Woody: | Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose? |
| Norm: | Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh? |
| Bar Wars III: The Return of Tecumseh: |
|---|
| Sam: | What are you up to, Norm? |
| Norm: | My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall. |
| Loverboyd: |
|---|
| Woody: | Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson. |
| Norm: | You mean, "Nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson." |
| Veggie-Boyd: |
|---|
| Sam: | What can I do for you, Norm? |
| Norm: | Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam. |
| It's a Wonderful Wife: |
|---|
| Woody: | What's going on, Mr. Peterson? |
| Norm: | Another layer for the winter, Wood. |