Real programmers don't write specs -- users should consider
themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to
write, it should be hard to understand.
Real programmers don't write application programs, they
program right down on the bare metal. Application programming
is for feebs who can't do systems programming.
Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies, and
Real programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy
Real programmers' programs never work right the first time.
But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into
working in only a few 30-hour debugging sessions.
Real programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe
stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers
are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no
programmers write in BASIC after the age of 12.
Real programmers don't write in PL/1. PL/1 is for
programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Real programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that
requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and
real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a
mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the
Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps
who can't read the listings or the object deck.
Real programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA,
or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong
typing is for people with weak memories.